how can a person forget someone? is it possible? or not?
for years.. i cried for a man that did not shed a drop of tear for me at all. I do not know if he does or he does not know of what i feel. It has been a while since i last thought of him.

Now i am on my way back. back to the path where i deperately tried to escape. the path where he is in my memory. gentle and sweet. i decided to escape and run away from the thought of him. was i succesful?

back then, when we were lovers... ( did he really love me or was it all just a fantasy?) it was hard for me to express what i feel. I understood the case fully. Oh i could still hear his voice, echoing into my soul, saying "I Love You".(Was it real?)

What happened? I broke up with him. Why? Because I could not take it anymore.

Liar. That is what i thought he was. I asked him, "who is she?" he said no one. It was all a lie. A lie that i knew from the start. The lie that i carried. The lie that crushed me to the ground.

Oh what a painful sight! To see myself crying and begging God to help me survive. The deppression was too much for me to take. Too much to not be felt. Too much to carry on my chest.

For two months i did not speak to him. I totally forgot all about him. I got myself preoccupied with senseless things. But i could not resist the temptaion... for a few times i checked on my account to see if he was there, and just look at his name then cry at night when no one else was awake. The night was free. It was mine. Long enough for me to reminisce. And along with the memories, are the regrets.

Yes. I do regret knowing him. He did not just cause me to feel pain. He made me love him and to love someone, for me, is everlasting.

He does not regret knowing me. Does he even care? Or am i just a nobody to him? Just like an insect that he could spare. Was i a good friend? Am i not yet enough? What does it take to win a man? Tears are not the price. Then what?

tonight, I again engage myself with fantasies. Fantasies of being with him. Fantasies of seeing him with a smile on his face. That would surely be enough payment for my agony.

What hinders me from seeing him? What else? The family. My family.